Ok, so I had this really shitty idea. I want to track NBA players progress towards possibly winning an award at the end of the season. However, they're not the real NBA awards. Those aren't nearly fun or relevant enough for me to track.
I'm developing my own awards, most of them you don't want to win. Peak comedy.
We're going to start this off by tracking a certain amount of players and putting them on the "watch". As the season moves along, we'll likely be able to set some rankings. The awards will have an explanation underneath them about criteria. For now, we're just listing players in the awards pool at this current moment. Certain players could drop out, and certain players can be added. We've barely even started this NBA season, and that's why this is stupid.
I put these players into the pool with complete objectivity, and If I didn't, I'll let you know.
The Over-Achiever's Award
Pretty self explanatory, this usually revolves around players having a breakout year, or just being way better than expected. This also usually comes from a change of scenery on a different team. Keep in mind that "over-achieving" has a different weight for different players. This award doesn't have a "bad" connotation.
Lauri Markkanen
Tyrese Haliburton
Josh Hart
Tyrese Maxey
Keldon Johnson
Desmond Bane
Kyle Kuzma
Christian Wood
Bennedict Mathurin
Paolo Banchero
Christian Koloko*
Jock Landale
De'Aaron Fox
Bojan Bogdanovic
Pascal Siakam
Dennis Smith Jr.
Jonas Valanciunas
Bobby Portis
Nick Richards
Bol Bol
John Konchar
Trey Murphy
Kelly Olynyk
Dean Wade*
Keegan Murray
*I may be biased*
The Under-Achiever's Award
Again, self explanatory. There's no ill will intended here. There are a significant amount of NBA players who start slow every season. You'll likely see a lot of these players drop out after a bit. The criteria is based mainly on efficiency numbers, or surprising lack of playing time.
D'Angelo Russell
Fred Van Vleet
Ben Simmons
Russell Westbrook (The version who starts games, bench version very good.)
Kyle Lowry
Chris Paul
Tobias Harris
Jamal Murray
Montrezl Harrel
Aleksej Pokusevski (Has been a lot better lately.)
Precious Achiuwa
Harrison Barnes
Norman Powell (Has also been a lot better lately.)
Isaac Okoro
RJ Barrett
Chris Duarte
James Bouknight
Patrick Beverly
Marcus Smart
The "He Can Shoot?" Award
This revolves around NBA Players shooting a crazy high percentage from deep. Mainly guys who aren't well known as shooters, at least at this moment.
Yuta Watanabe (57.1%) !!
Josh Green (53.1%) !!
Dean Wade (50.0%) !!
Shaedon Sharpe (47.4%)
Terence Davis (42.0%)
Jeremiah Robinson-Earl (41.9%)
The Sir Charles Award
This award is for all my homies out there breaking backboards from long distance. Volume is taken into account here. If a player has a super low volume of shots, they aren't shattering enough glass. Credible shooters with low percentages are also given some leeway.
Lebron James (23.9%) !!
RJ Barrett (25.3%) !!
Luguentz Dort (27%) - (he is up from 16% earlier in the season, give him a chance.)
Marcus Smart (29%)
Saddiq Bey (29.0%)
Reggie Bullock (29.3%)
Immanuel Quickley (27.0%)
The Shaq Award
Players who be bricking free-throws.
Mason Plumlee switched shooting hands to start the season, he gets an automatic W in this category. Percentage isn't relevant, just watch him shoot the ball and you tell me what you think.
The Spark Plug Award
Players who have low minutes played, compared to how high their Player Efficiency Rating is. If your minutes are under 20, with a PER above 20, you're absolutely cooking.
Nick Richards - 19.1 minutes played - 22.17 PER !!
Terence Davis -13.1 minutes played - 21.55 PER !!
Jonas Valanciunas - 23.6 minutes played - 21.40 PER
Walker Kessler - 15.0 minutes played - 19.97 PER
Dewayne Dedmon - 12.0 minutes played - 19.68 PER
Jerico Sims - 14.5 minutes played - 19.94 PER
Larry Nance Jr. - 23.7 minutes played - 20.69 PER
Chris Boucher - 22.5 minutes played - 20.07 PER
The Glass Cannon Award
Players who have an extremely high Offensive Real Plus-Minus, with a mediocre/bad Defensive Real Plus-Minus. If any of the players you see below are close to breaking even in RPM, they're leading the race.
Damian Lillard (ORPM 6.28, DRPM -2.00)
Trae Young (ORPM 4.91, DRPM -1.52)
Lamelo Ball (ORPM 4.03, DRPM -2.58) !!
Darius Garland (ORPM 3.03, DRPM -1.09)
Malik Monk (ORPM 2.99, DRPM -2.90), ouch.
Sam Hauser (ORPM 2.84, DRPM -1.24)
Bones Hyland (ORPM 2.45, DRPM -2.34) !!
Bennedict Mathurin (ORPM 1.84, DRPM -2.86), OOF.
Malcom Brogdan (ORPM 1.67, DRPM -2.30)
The "Specialist" Award
This is just the opposite of the Glass Cannon Award, High DRPM, Low ORPM. We say "specialist" because apparently you can't be an offensive specialist without a negative connotation. It's why Luguentz Dort is a cult hero, compared to Isaiah Thomas being a free agent.
Caleb Martin (DRPM 3.35, ORPM -3.72) !!
Ivica Zubac (DRPM 3.23, ORPM -3.73) !!
Kevon Looney (DRPM 2.92, ORPM -1.70)
Josh Hart (DRPM 2.87, ORPM -3.29)
Bam Adebayo (DRPM 2.49, DRPM -2.18)
Jarrett Allen (DRPM 2.33, ORPM -2.66)
Reggie Bullock (DRPM 1.95, ORPM -5.22) ?????????
Matisse Thybulle (DRPM 1.80, ORPM -4.68) ???????
The X factor Award
Players with surprisingly high Win/Share ratings. This means that when these specific players play well, their team is more likely to win games. We're not including obvious players like all-stars, because that means this award would have actual meaning. We're not like that over here, meaningless awards only.
Kelly Oubre Jr. (W/S - 2.78) !!
Kristaps Porzingis (W/S - 2.63)
Jalen Brunson (W/S - 2.45)
Brook Lopez (W/S - 2.14)
CJ McCollum (W/S 2.29)
OG Anunoby (W/S 2.13)
Kyle Kuzma (W/S 2.12)
The Pick Six Award
Players with a sub-par assist/turnover ratio. This doesn't equate to player with a high average of turnovers, as long as they supplement the ratio with assists. So you may be expecting to see Russell Westbrook or Luka Doncic on here, but they complete passes regularly. Big men who do not handle the ball on the perimeter regularly got the benefit of the doubt as well.
I won this award back in the 2016-2017 Canada West season. I had 22 assists compared to 51 turnovers. I channeled my inner Mitch Trubisky for entire season, dedication to the craft baby WEEOOOO.
Bam Adebayo (3.3 Ast / 3.5 TO's)
Jusuf Nurkic (2.2 Ast / 2.5 TO's)
OG Anunoby (2.1 Ast / 2.5 TO's) - considering how many turnovers he forces, this is fine.
Bol Bol (0.6 Ast / 1.9 TO's)
Christian Wood (1.0 Ast / 2.2 TO's)
The FOH Award
This award is for perimeter players who average a ton of blocks per game. We'll include small forward's as well.
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (1.4 BPG) !!!?????
Jayson Tatum (1.2 BPG)
Mikal Bridges (1.1 BPG)
Jerami Grant (1.0 BPG)
OG Anunoby (0.9 BPG)
Derrick White (0.9 BPG) !!!!??
Alex Caruso (0.8 BPG)
The Discount Award
This one is for players who are playing well above their annual salary, meaning they are a significant discount to the team payroll. We're going to try and keep certain rookie contracts out of it, unless they're undrafted.
Tyus Jones - 1.5 mil
Sam Hauser - 1.5 mil
Jock Landale - 1.5 mil
Yuta Watanabe - 1.7 mil
Paul Reed - 1.7 mil
Max Strus - 1.8 mil
Dennis Smith Jr. - 1.8 mil
Dean Wade - 1.9 mil
The Cult Hero Award
Each team gets a bid into this award, meaning we will have 30 nominees. Cult hero's in basketball display a certain level of skill, work ethic, and flashiness to achieve this status. This means that this is really an "eye-test" award. I will very minorly explain why each player is nominated. If you watch good deal of NBA basketball, most of these won't be surprising. Cult hero's can be replaced throughout a season.
Boston Celtics - Sam Hauser - Shooting the ever-living shit out of the basketball, and undrafted.
Brooklyn Nets - Yuta Watanbe - Very tall and handsome Japanese man shooting 57% from 3.
New York Knicks - Jericho Sims - Stares directly downward at the rim when he dunks.
Philadelphia 76ers - Paul Reed - His nickname is bball paul, what more do you want.
Toronto Raptors - Thad Young - Look at him man.
Golden State Warriors - Andrew Wiggins - The best version of Wiggs is the Warriors version.
LA Clippers - Ivica Zubac - He grabbed 29 rebounds in a game.
LA Lakers - Austin Reaves - Off-brand Caruso, but he's having a dynamite season.
Phoenix Suns - Jock Landale - Undrafted Aussie bloke who's eating up some of Ayton's minutes.
Sacramento Kings - Davion Mitchell/Kevin Huerter - "Off-night" and "Red Velvet" are incredible nicknames.
Chicago Bulls - Alex Caruso - Who else could it possibly be?
Cleveland Cavaliers - Dean Wade - The only D.Wade you need to remember.
Detroit Pistons - Jalen Duren - Surely one of Dwight Howards many offspring.
Indiana Pacers - Andrew Nembhard - I won 75 bucks when he hit a buzzer beater on the Lakers. I exclusively gamble on the Lakers losing.
Milwaukee Bucks - Jevon Carter - He woke up.
Atlanta Hawks - Frank Kamisnky - Has never not been a Cult Hero.
Charlotte Hornets - JT Thor - Gotta be one of the best names in all of sports currently.
Miami Heat - Udonis Haslem - I'm worried about his health every second he's on the court.
Orlando Magic - Bol Bol - Honestly, this is a team full of hero's, but Bol Bol is at the forefront.
Washington Wizards - Kyle Kuzma - No one else on the Wizards does anything funny.
Denver Nuggets - Bones Hyland - A must-watch glass cannon.
Minnesota Timberwolves - Honestly, I really don't want to give a nomination out here. The Timberwolves play un-inspired basketball. If Luka Garza ever got minutes then we might have something.
OKC Thunder - Aleksej Pokusevski - Have no clue what he's going to do with the ball every time he catches it.
Portland Trailblazers - Josh Hart - Board man gets paid. Try and find a better rebounding guard.
Utah Jazz - Walker Kessler - Blocks shots better than Gobert? Special shoutout to the Rudy Gay/Collin Sexton duo that has been dubbed "Gay Sex", keep an eye on that one as well. Utah fans keep pushing back on that nickname? Majorly white fan bases don't have a sense of humor.
Dallas Mavericks - Josh Green - They cloned Dorian Finney-Smith and made him more athletic.
Houston Rockets - Alperen Sengun - He moves around like a llama that was once owned by Hakeem Olajuwon. Footwork too good.
Memphis Grizzlies - Steven Adams - Undeniable.
New Orleans Pelicans - Jose Alvarado - Grand Theft Alvarado.
San Antonio Spurs - Jakob Poeltl - He's been ruining the tank process, so the Spurs want to trade him.
The Microwave Award
This award is also based on reputation more than anything. "Microwave" can defined as a player who heats up really quickly, therefore becoming impossible to guard in the process. It's a compliment in some instances, but also represents some inconsistency in other instances. So we won't really have many all-star players in this category. A lot of these players you'll be familiar with. Players who have been "Microwaves" for most of their career get a lifetime achievement sticker next to their name. (L/A).
The entire Utah Jazz roster (L/A)
Malik Monk
Max Strus
TJ Warren
Terence Ross (L/A)
Buddy Hield
Kyle Kuzma (L/A) (super impressive considering it's been like 5 years)
Eric Gordon (L/A)
Jeff Green (L/A)
Tim Hardaway Jr. (L/A)
Cameron Payne
Patty Mills (L/A)
Caris Levert (L/A)
If I need to add any awards, tweet me @marcusmackay8
Thanks for reading!
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